You Attend an Offline Suicide Meeting

I occasionally read manga and watch anime. I don't watch much anime because it isn't on Cartoon Network anymore and downloading it is a hassle, plus it's uncomfortable to watch on the computer. I also read manga some, but I'm not into it much because, frankly, most of it sucks. I think there are some cultural divides and stuff that separate me from mangaka. It could just be that Japanese doesn't translate well. I've once had that problem while trying to speak with people in a different language, however, to be frank once more, people who natively speak English often don't understand what the hell I'm trying to say.

I started reading the NHK manga today. I would have read the novel, since that's more up my alley (colorful expression, eh?) than comics, but I couldn't find it quickly on Google, so I went for the manga. The anime would have been too much of a hassle for the reasons I listed earlier. Having so many options can be a major obstacle, but my keen process of elimination skills came through in the end. So, about Welcome to the NHK, the protagonist is me if I were a character in a manga. It's sort of pathetic. On one hand, I've experienced a lot of the thoughts and feelings of Sato, but on the other hand they aren't exactly the same and my reactions are largely different.

Am I a hopeless loser? I don't know how the manga turns out. I do know that a Misaki isn't going to knock on my door and try to help me out. But, back to the point, am I a hopeless loser? Will I continue to fail? Maybe I'm like an alcoholic or a compulsive gambler or some other loser who continues to make the same mistakes over and over again. I don't want to believe that. I've always thought that I was different, but maybe I'm not. I'm not exactly like Sato. I'm a misanthrope, but I like to be around people. I don't trust them. I'm scared that I'll screw up, which I do very often. However, I still like being around people and feeling accepted. I'd like to say that I'm not a complete slave to my impulses and fears. My willpower varies. Sometimes I feel more confident and I can muster up the resolve fight through my emotions, but I often succumb to them. I don't know if I'll ever be able to fit into society or complete any of my goals. I don't know if I'll ever be happy. Maybe?

I'm now transitioning to anecdotes and stuff that relates to NHK! *six million dollar man sound effect*

Solicitors:
I always screw up while talking to them and expose myself as a very odd person. Once a guy was doing a promotion for a restaurant or something. He asked, "Do you like good steak and seafood?" Sensing that this was a trick question, I answered, "I don't know?" He gave a putoff "OK" and walked briskly away. I also once asked a guy repeatedly who was in the midst of a vague pitch, "What do you want?" After asking a few times I ended the conversation with, "It's late." It was 7 pm, though I was going to bed early at the time. Though not a solicitor, a reporter once asked me what I thought about a fund-raising thing for Katrina victims that I was a part of. I responded with something along the lines of, "I think it's really awesome and neat and great and wonderful and cool and terrific," etc. She turned around and walked away.

Lolita:
I had a quickly passing obsession with lolita after discovering 4chan. Inevitably the shock or whatever wears off and it's no longer as hot.

Eroge Game:
I once contemplated making one. I even started on a prototype. It would have been text-based, because I'm no artist, and featured bondage. Bondage was another one of my passing fetishes.

MMO Addiction:
I have the tendancy to get into games pretty hardcore. The first game that screwed around my life was Infantry Online. I still have fond memories of it, though it completely ruined me for a period of months. I was sad when it became pay to play, though that may have been for the best. I also went through a pretty classic MMO addiction with Priston Tale, one of the first free 3D MMORPGs. Don't ask why I would prefer grinding to sleep. There's something about the snazzy spell animations and the ping when you get a level. Also, it's better than Diablo, even Diablo over battlenet, because there are so many people! MMOs, you are wiley indeed.

That's all I can think of. I don't want this to be a continually updated list. I mean, this is the third time that I've edited this post already. I'm not doing it again (hopefully).